xThis Is The Story Of a Girl,Who Cried A River and Drown The Whole Worldx

Too excited..

2008-12-02T01:13:25Z

Okay my day isnt even close to over but im too excited to write so im writing..

Started off okay my alarm went off at 6:45 am and i turned it off only to fall back asleep until 7:15 so i woke up suddenly.. Grabbed a shower and off i went.. To school that is.. Morning of school was okay.. Steven said I wasnt myself today and well i probably wasnt I had a good weekend but it sucked too well i had a bad sunday and then i was tired and yeah just everything.. But we found out that in february we have a formal ball to go to and im soooooooo excited so at lunch sara sean and I were joking around about finding me a date.. Which made me happy. Then in the afternoon we met Adele from 91.5 the beat.. I called her out for supporting teen pregnancy probably not the best first impression.. There goes my job.. Oh well it was neat but her image ruined her.. I like her voice and thats it.. So i dropped sara and sean off at her house and i got to come home before work today yay!! Then i went to work it was fun.. I love that sean texted me too because i really need someone these days and i feel like hes there for me.. Yay cheesefest right there.. Anyway work was decent.. Then i came home and talked to my mom while eating salad and chicken wings.. My mom is so awesome i love her she put me in such a good mood. We talked about the gala ball and stuff and she was joking about my wanted ad it was funny shes cute.. Oh and we talked about how I was going to get ryan a christmas gift and she said "well you can just smash it over his head" no lie my mom actually said that!! Shes really cool now that im like an adult.. She wasnt this cool when i was growing up..

Yay my black dress and my heels were not a complete waste of money!!

Thats all i got for today I think.. I will update if any thing new goes down...

Over and Out.

If i have to be.

2008-12-01T04:41:46Z

I am so much stronger than this. Sooooo much stronger.

I am over you. If i have to be..

I am.

Your not worth it. I deserve better...

Over and Out.

one day

2008-11-14T06:15:16Z

one day i will see you again..

and i will speak only these words

"im sorry I wasnt or couldnt be what you wanted and I hope you find what you are looking for"

its not fair. i want to scream. i dont even want to scream at you. i just want to scream for all the frustration in my life. im tired of being treated like crap im tired of drama and bullshit.

One day someone will find me who loves me for me and will treat me the way i want to be treated. Yes i thought that was you but im young and i have so much more life to live. You were a great person and right now all i want to do is hug you because I feel so sorry for you. You are lost and I wanted to help you but I guess I just can't.

Crashing not like hips or cars, no, more like pppp parties.

2008-03-18T14:47:20Z

Yesterday was my first car accident. St. Pattys Day March 17th 2008. It was scary and all her fault. I mean i was going straight and she turned infront of me.

The past few weeks i havent been feeling so well. Im just waiting for something to happen.

I cant wait to finish school its hell.

moving to edmonton!

Are u kidding me?

2007-04-30T21:29:41Z

Its 5;30 pm. and instead of watching the movie im supposed to watch for religion im writing this. Nothing is all that new.. Prom is soon and i bought my dress!! YAY!! Its totally awesome and totally was too expensive. Hmmmm i went to cuba for a week with kurtis that was pretty cool! I got sick from it but it was fun before i got sick. It was hot and pretty and hot, its like constant sweat there. Its a sad place too because people are soo poor. I just wanted to cry for them. Im back now though, and the homework catch up is too much.. Im soooooooo tired of school i wish it would just end. And then i think omg only 6 more years to go! Err.. OOOO i got accepted to university all of the ones i picked yay, turning them down kinda sucked but i think i made the best choice. err i cant write this because i keep thinking about the large amount of homework i should be doing instead. I almost am caught up in 2 classes, except i missed first today because im still sick. I learned today that i have 14 truents in 2nd period i think i spelt truents wrong eh ne way.. 14! thats like wayyyyyy to many. Ugh im going to do hw. This journal think just depresses me. haha have fun reading!!

p.s my birthday is in 3 days! woooo!

Over and Out.

im sad.

2007-03-28T00:56:20Z

Here i go again. The only time i seem to post in this thing ne more is when im sad. Gah. I just dont no ne more. Everything is the same, im tired of the same, i want something new. I go to skool then i work and i see kurtis in my spare time. whenever i have spare time. The work load is always the same, school is always the same. Everything is just the same. Oh and i eat the same too, and i just constantly gain weight, which just doesnt make me feel like doing ne thing else. So im stuck. And i hate being stuck but im stuck. I cant wait for school to end so i can go to edmonton and see the people that make me oh so happy. and so everything can stop being the same. Oh and im jelous so im sad and jelous now, because of course being sad just wasnt enough, and i have nothing to be jelous about because i have a great life. But i mean damn it. Why are some people so lucky, i hate pretty girls. Yes random rambling i no i no. Ne way thats all.

Over and Out.

High School

2007-02-05T18:22:35Z

So ive finally learned that this whole high school thing.. completly sucks. Actually we always knew that but now more then ever. Only one more effin semester till im out for good. Thank God. Today was a disaster, i felt like shit and had extra time this morning, and i never wear makeup ne more so i decided to wear some. Man i finished putting it all on the same way i used to do every day of grade 9 and 10 and just wanted to wash it all off, but because it was the 1st day back i thought id make a dramatic entrance back. I cant believe i used to look like that every day, and then today i do it after a semester of no makeup and everyone is shocked. I mean it looked good, but just blah so much work... I was one strange kid. Anyway i went to my first class, and was already not impressed because its in a portable! Its effin -32 outside and i have to walk to a portable. So im looking for this portable, im in grade 12 and still looking for classes, and of course mines the farthest one away from the door. You have to be kidding me! I walk inside and theres like 10 kids already there all in which i hate. Every single one of them. Great. So the rest show up and i know them all i can probably list all there names, but yet i dont talk to any of them. Thanks Guidance. So im the little loser in the back of the class. The only positive to that class is its alphabetical order for seats and im beside Sarah who will actually talk to me. =S. So then its off to 2nd class photography, this one should be good right? Easy art credit, little work, take pictures develop them. Yeah thats wut i thought too. Well i was wrong. Its a grade 11 class and i will stress im in grade 12! Its not open, its the teacher who actually hates me. I didnt think it was possible to hate me. It is. Theres lots of work, no time, and we share cameras u get it for one night, you do all the work on your own and u finish very little in class. Im going to stress i have a part time job, in which consumes my life. Thanks Guidance. So okay its going fine we play the whole Hi im ___ I like ___. It gets to me Hi im stephanie IM IN GRADE 12! And i like dance. The end. Move on. Yeah. So i know no one, like no one. Fun class. I think not. Ps. The girl behind me kicked my chair to pass me something that calls for a slap. I hate girls. Especially grade 11 ones. I leave that class see my beautiful boyfrined for a minute and its off to Classic Civ. This cant be too bad. I mean Mr. McCabe (hes a babe) and someone i know in my class!! Woo! I think not. First person i see when i walk in.... Can you all guess.. JOSH THE FAG EX BOYFRIEND. Fuck my life cant get ne better today. And Mr. Mccabe isnt there. The supply teacher is so fucked she cant get the right SIS sheet. We talk all class ( thats the only good thing) I try and talk to people Josh or faggot shuts me down. Thanks Guidance. But now im home before schools even done. Because Guidance was nice and after all the shit i had to go through they gave me 4th lunch 5th spare. And i am done now. 12:15 i leave the bad day behind. Now im home complanning about my day, cuz im good at that. And waiting to go to work. Hopefully sara is there or im gonna be really upset. I wish Natasha worked mondays and tuesdays but she doesnt =(. Gah. High school is one big joke.

Over and Out.

3 years

2007-02-01T00:47:31Z

How old were you?
Then: 14
Now: 17

Where did you go to school?
Then: Resurrection
Now: Resurrection

Where did you work?
Then: Nowhere
Now: ValuMart

Where did you live?
Then: Kictchener, ON and well alberta
Now: Kitchener, ON

Where did you hang out?
Then: wherever was cool
Now: friends and whereever is cool like uhh bubble tea

What was your hair style:
Then: longggggggggggggg
Now: very short

Did you wear glasses?
Then: yes
Now: yes

what kind of Music did you like?
Then: Top 40
Now: emo?

How many tattoos did you have?
Then: None
Now: None

How many piercings did you have?
Then: 0
Now: 0

What car did you drive?
Then: None
Now: my mazda

What was your worst fear?
Then: Moving
Now: moving

Had you smoked a cigarette?
Then: no
Now: yes

You been arrested?:
Then: no
Now: no

Had your heart broken?
Then: nope
Now: Yup

Single/Taken/Married/Divor
ced/Bitter/Pimp
Then: single
Now: taken

drank alcohol?
Then: yep
Now: Yup

smoked a joint?
Then: no
Now: no

Gotten so drunk you passed out in the middle of the road?
Then: no
Now: no

lost any weight?
Then: ya
Now: nope

an okay ending to a shit filled day

2007-01-12T01:35:00Z

THE SPILL CANVAS IS COMMING TO ONTARIO FEB 25TH! I MUST GO! WITH SARA!

0h0hnintend0 @ 2007-01-04T02:44:00

2007-01-04T06:44:07Z

1) Was 2006 a good year for you?
Yes and no

2) What was your favorite moment/experience of the year?
Edmonton, the trip with kurt, or the panic concert

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
the break up

4) Where were you when 2006 began?
Joshs basement

5) Who were you with?
josh

6) Where will you be when 2006 ends?
Kurts

7) Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
Kurt

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2006?
probably not

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
umm. get in shape.
annndd..focus on school?

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2006?
yes

16) Did you make any new friends in 2006?
that i did

17) Who is your favorite new friend?
Kurtis

18) What was your favorite month of 2006?
August

19) Did you travel outside of the Canada in 2006?
have i ever? of course not.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?
umm. not in a 'passing away' sort of way. But alot of my friends left me.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
oh to many

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006?
saw 3, the holiday, im sure theres more..

24) What was your favorite song from 2006?
Lying is the most fun a girl can have, time to dance, it ends tonight

25) What was your favorite record from 2006?
AAR, Three Days Grace

26) How many concerts did you see in 2006?
4ish

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2006?
PANIC

28) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2006?
nope

29) did you do a lot of drugs in 2006?
nope.

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2006?
enough =]

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
yeah.. alot

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2006?
"we will always be friends, no matter what, i promise"

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2006?
ya..

36) How much money did you spend in 2006?
a lot a lot

37) What was your proudest moment of 2006?
Recieving my award for school..

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
o dear..theres lots.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something what would it be?
nothing. it was all worth it in the end. i learned a lot about a lot of people

40) What are your plans for 2007?
do well in school, tell the truth, be happy.

2006-2007

2007-01-04T06:38:05Z

best _____ of the year 06:
1. party: codys
2. show: grays
3. cd: AAR
4. movie: teh holiday
5. song: some panic song
6. experience: edmonton
7. concert: PANIC!
8. book: the lovely bones
9. month: August
10. day: august 22

worst ____ of the year 06:
1. party: eddies
2. show: the oc
3. cd: im sure there is something
4. movie: beer fest or something stupid like that
5. song: the buttons song
6. experience: my ex boyfriend
7. concert: nothing was really bad but out of the ones i went to maybe OLP
8. book: cant think now
9. month: may
10. Day: May 13th ish

hopes for 2007:
1. predict something that you think will happen in 2007?: I'll quit quitting
2. what do you hope changes about your country?: poverty decreases.
3. what do you hope for yourself?: I get a car
4. what do you hope for your family?: that things will get better for them.
5. what do you hope for your best friend?: -That she will have a great year in her new house. And that she will talk to me more. - That he will learn to deal with things better and understand things before getting upset, and that we will always be best friends.

during 2006:
1. where were you when 2006 began: Joshs Basement
2. did you stay up: sure did
3. what was your new year wish?: that my life would get better
4. how many boy/girlfriends?: 1
5. broke up?: yeah
6. have any crushes?: nope
7. care to mention names?: nope
8. new friends?: lots
9. had to say goodbye?: yes
10. missed anyone?: tooo many.
11. win anything?: nope
12. best place you went to?: Edmonton, and that little out of town trip with kurtis
13. worst place you went to?: I don’t think there was a place
14. happiest moment?: Um.. Plane landing in Edmonton.
15. how was your birthday?: it was okay.
16. best present?: jack

Stole from sara

2007-01-02T07:03:27Z

Girl Confessions

[ ] I'm kinda easy.
[x] I do wear make up.
[x] When I walk by mirrors, I can't help but look.
[ ] When I walk by mirrors, I like what I see
[x] When I walk by mirrors, I hate what I see.
[ ] I wear a bra to bed
[ ] I wear boxers/boy shorts to bed
[ ] I wear booty shorts to bed
[ ] I sometimes sleep naked
[ ] I wear toe nail polish.
[x] I have cried at a movie theater.
[x] I've purposely talked to a guy my boyfriend didn't like.
[ ] I love chocolate covered pretzels.
[x] Getting flowers makes me smile, especially for no reason.
[ ] I've wrecked a car.
[ ] I can't put mascara on without opening my mouth.
[x] I'd do anything for that special guy
[x] I get jealous easily.
[x] I love hugging.
[x] I love kissing.
[x] I've gotten a detention.
[ ]I've gotten suspended.
[ ] I've gotten expelled.
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I like rock.
[ ] I like death/grind/black metal.
[ ] I like metal/grindcore/hardcore/glam/2 step
[ ] I like rap.
[ ] I like R&B and hip hop
[ ] I like techno.
[x] I carry a purse everywhere.
[x] I carry a bag everywhere.
[x] I'd be lost without my cell phone.
[x] I'd be lost without my iPod/mp3/CD player/computer.
[ ] I own/did own a Spice Girls CD.
[x] I own/did own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own/did own a boy band CD.
[ ] Football isn't boring.
[ ] I love athletic guys
[x] I love skater guys.
[x] I love punk guys.
[x] I love scene guys
[ ] I love gangsta guys.
[x] I love emo guys.
[x] I love gothic guys.
[x] I love guys with long hair.
[x] Guys are confusing.
[ ] I've cheated on someone before
[ ] I've been cheated on by someone before
[x] I've been called a slut.
[x] I've been called a bad influence
[x] lip gloss is better than lipstick
[ ] I cant leave the house without makeup.
[ ] I just dont like to be infront of people
[x] I play video games, even when there are other people around.
[x] My friends are the best, and they're important to me.
[x] I would do anything for my friends.
[x] I am going out with a certain someone right now.
[ ] Just ended a relationship with a certain someone
[ ] Would possibly rebound
[ ] I am not going out with anyone but i sorta am with someone.
[x] I smoke way too much
[ ] I drink way too much.
[ ] I am a member of FriendWise.com and love it.
[ ] I have a tattoo
[x] I have been to more than 5 concerts
[x] I have a stuffed animal(s)
[ ] I have cheated on someone just to make them dump me first

She Couldnt

2006-05-19T02:42:42Z

She couldn't stand the silence
She couldn't stand the tears,
She couldn't stand her life,
After only seventeen years.
He was her entire world,
She gave him all she possessed,
He did the same in return,
They were thought to be obsessed.
Their love couldn't be reached,
Couldn't be touched by any other,
They were all they needed,
They only wanted each other.
From two they became one,
They made each other whole,
They filled each other's voids,
They filled each other's souls.
Everything was perfect,
Everything was great,
Till one damning day,
They were told they'd have to wait.
Her parents were moving her,
To a distant place,
They'd be torn apart,
Couldn't see each other's face.
They swore they'd make it work,
Vowed to stay together,
Didn't care about the distance,
They'd be together forever.
She gave it all she had,
She did her very best,
But he still slipped away,
He didn't pass the test.
While she was thinking of him,
He had found another,
He said he couldn't do it,
He talked it over with his mother.
She was devastated,
Her heart was torn straight out,
She'd been such a fool,
She should have listened to her doubt.
From then on they stopped talking,
Never spoke again,
While he was with his new girl,
She was dreaming of him.
Every day she'd cry,
She tried to fight off all the pain,
But the hurting never stopped,
Just shot through every vein.
Months went by since the ending,
But she only grew worse,
She couldn't accept what happened,
This was love's curse.
It finally overtook her,
She couldn't stand it anymore,
She grabbed a picture of him,
And snuck out the front door.
She walked into the woods,
Found a secluded place,
Kept thinking of the past,
And how she'd been replaced.
Hours later she was found,
In a pool of her blood,
And beside her they found,
His picture in the mud.
On the back read her reason,
Why she took her life,
What he did to her,
It seemed he had held the knife.
Though physically he didn't kill her,
He tore her soul apart,
It was obvious how he did,
It was from a broken heart.

Today was a really bad day.

2006-04-04T01:23:40Z

The title says it all.. Today was just bad. bad. bad. bad. It was actually just really depressing.. My friend got a new puppy and she was so excited!! and she asked me to come with her at lunch to see it cuz she had to let her out.. so we went.. and when we got there the puppy wasnt breathing.. it was heart breaking.. her mom was flipping cuz they just lost there other dog.. and we had to pull her sister out of school.. and it was soooooooooo sad and i didnt no what to do.. what do you do in that situation.. its hard.. after skool i visited my sick boyfriend. he didnt seem to appreciative of it.. he said hed pick me up at school tomorrow, so i went out and did all this stuff for him.. and now hes not picking me up.. dissapointment comes my way. once again. the bad times overpower the good times in my life. and i hate it.. why cant things just work out. waste of money, waste of time, waste of life. pointless, hopeless.. goodnight

over and out.

life.

2006-03-28T23:06:33Z

Spell your name without vowels: stphn

What is the date 2 days after your birthday?: may 5

How many pairs of jeans do you own?: 2

What color do you wear most?: black

Least favorite color?: brown

Last song heard on the radio?: the radio. its been a while

What's for dinner tonite?: uhh prolly nothing or...something gross

Are you happy with your life right now?: not really

Tell me a secret about one of your siblings: she stayed back in grade 1

Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity? yeah.

Who did you last talk to on the phone ?: josh.

Do you own a..

- PS2?: nope

- XBOX 360?: no

- PSP?: no

- SIDEKICK?: no

- DIGITAL CAMERA?: ye ye

In what state or country do you want to go to school after high school?: cananda, NEW YORK

Do you shop at stores like Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle, or Aeropostale?: nope

How do you make money?: work

Last thing you bought over 50 dollars? my hair? ooo my stupid phone card

How's the weather?: warmish

When do you start Summer Break?: end of June

Are you missing someone right now?: yes. not josh.

What chores do you have around the house?: uh my room i guess

Finish this sentence. I wish I was ___: not here

One word to describe you: lonely

Favorite pair of shoes: my hurley ones

Do you own a pair of big sunglasses?: of course

Do you find yourself attractive?: not most days

Why is the first person in your Top 8 in the spot?: cuz he's my fave

What would you rather be doing right now?: driving around or at bubble tea

What should you be doing right now?: hw

Have you kissed your boyfriend/girlfriend lately?: not really

Last IM you recieved?: "explain the last part"

Last text message you recieved?: "how are you feeling today?"

Who did you hug today?: josh

0h0hnintend0 @ 2006-03-17T20:29:00

2006-03-18T01:44:36Z

Hey its been awhile.

Wow its been crazy long. Its spring break (march break for those who are not normal ;-) ) and now its actually officially the last day. But the weekend is still pending. It was pretty shitty this year.. But then again when isnt it.. I wont complain to much because school sucks ass more then this week did but meh. So Friday i was supposed to hang out with Josh but he worked instead, and then Allie called which was sweet cuz we chilled with her and we went to a really gay kegger, with a shit load of people we didnt know. This is where we met up with everyone else like Mary, Kurtis, Melissa, Dave andy.. and yeah. From there we heard Megan was having a party, and i know Megan so it sounded like a great opportunity to leave that shit party and go to a cool party. Which is exactly what happend. Megans party was sweeeeeeeeeeet with all those e's. Everyone was there well alot of people i knew and so it was just pretty awesome. That was friday. Saturday i worked. Thrilling i think not. Then i hung out with Josh and we went for dinner and ice cream and just chilled in my new house. Sunday was Josh's last day with me so we hung out after he worked and i shopped while he worked. Then we went to bubble tea.. Yum. Monday Josh left my day was shittttt. Cept Monday night a surprise came to me, in the form of.. ill tell you later incase some reads this. It just took hours and hours and a grand adventure so it wasnt that bad in the end. Tuesday my mom didnt work which was sweet because we did the little things you have to do when you move, lots of people havnt moved so they wouldnt no so let me fill you in, license change, health card change, mail change.. Those kinda things. Wedensday fuck the spelling of that i butchered that ne way that was a gay day to again my mom didnt work so i hung at home and then went to work. Wow.. Thursday hmm oh yesterday i did NOTHING it was sooooooo boring then i worked once again. I really hate work. Its a waste of my life to the max. Then friday came hey that was today. Wow today was an alright day. I hung out with Alex and Cassie who are pretty cool people, we went to bubble tea and Alex picked the grossest combo ever (puke) and mine was good but i wasnt in the mood for it. From there we went to the Library (dont ask) i had to get a book, i didnt get it. From the Library we had a bus adventure and we ended up at Conostoga mall where we chilled for like an hour or something.. It was pretty fun tho. Cassie is really cool. Just thought id add that in. For those who are wondering. Then i came home and got bitched at so my night didnt end so well. Now i have to finish my homework because tomorrow i work alllllll day and sunday i work more allllll day like allllll day open to close. FUCK THAT. See works a waste of my life. WASTE! Sorry im on a rampage im so pissed at everything. Plus im half depressed and i really miss Josh. Alot. This weeks been way to long. He needs to come back! Monday will come soon enough i guess.. Life sucks.

Over and Out.

nothing new

2006-02-12T16:28:58Z

Hey!
So again its been a while.. Nothings all that new. Im living with my boyfriend.. well for the week i am because my rents are in Jamaca and they didnt take me! How rude! I was very upset. But im living with Josh but i think that might end before it really starts because im just not feeling the trust.. and im pretty much just causing problems. So maybe tonight i will sleep at home.
Tomorrow im getting my hair done! isnt that great. I thought so right after school im off to get the hair done. I dont want it to be tomorrow tho.. I really just want to skip this week. Cept THURSDAY will be FUCKING fun! Its semi.. THis year i actually want to go so i dont know how that will turn out. Should be great tho. Perhaps an after party will be good to. I just have to get my dress and stuff situated. Then friday is a PA day. OH OH OH and tuesday is V day. Boooooo. That day never ends good. Last year it ended in tears, but it was just a shitty day all around. N every other year it ends stupidly as well because most people are always single, and thatd include me. So lets see how it works out this year. Im watching the Olympics YAY CANADA WOMENS HOCKEY!! We rock. Well thats probably it, i have to get ready for the day and call Miss. Allison to see what we are doing today. Hopefully shes not to hung over. Well im off.

Over and Out.

0h0hnintend0 @ 2006-02-05T00:41:00

2006-02-05T05:48:22Z

So im back to being my depressing self. Everything this week just hasnt worked for me, and no one is helping me feel ne better. So im depressed.. imagine that. School starts in 2 days and i dont want to ever go back. Its going to be the worst semester of my life. I'll probably end up dropping my classes just because i dont wanna see school anymore. This week was supposed to be great, there were so many plans and just nothing has worked the way it should of. I hate parents to! Now more then ever i just ruin everyones life, if not ruin then i just get in the way. Without me so many people would have less to worry about. I really should just go away. Im so happy im making money eventually i'll have enough to just leave. I dont even care where i end up, ne where but here. Dont read this and leave comments of how my life isnt that bad or how it was just one bad week because really right now i dont care.. thats all

over and out.

I FXCKING HATE TODAY!

2006-01-10T02:37:52Z

I EFFIN HATE TODAY! Im so ready to kill something its not funny!!!! Nothing good came from today. OH FUCK! I jsut realized i have to do some homework! Ah. Work was hard hard hard hard hard! My back kills, the person at work that thinks shes better then the rest of us forced me to do her work, then talked rudly about me infront of other people, i was left outside freezing for half an hour because my parents forgot me, i hadnt eaten in 8 hours and i couldnt feel my hands. Now i think im sick. I got another project today at school in parenting, and finally got the geography culminating, Josh is my partner this could be bad because we are both procrastinators and he is computerless.. yay more stress just what i need. On top of that Josh didnt have a good day and that was sorta not meant to be, but was taken out on me. Im angry and im taking it out on others and now there mad. Today isnt my day. I warn you your best to just stay away from me for a bit. This stress is going to kill me.

Over and Out.

Im pretty much lonely.

2006-01-07T20:59:20Z

TEN FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Laura
First Screen Name: Stephanie
First Pet: fluffy - i was 2
First Piercing: ears
First Crush: i dont even remember
First CD: TLC
First Car: i dont own a car
First Stuffed animal: teddy
First Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Lets not go there
First Kiss: Again we wont go there
NINE LASTS
Last Alchoholic Beverage: Smirnoff..So vodka
Last Car ride: Um home from work..
Last Movie Seen: Wedding Crashers
Last Phone Call: Josh
Last Song Played: Panic! at the disco
Last Bubble Bath: about 7 years ago, i hate baths
Last time you Cried: I dont no the other day sometime
EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: Yes
Have you ever been arrested? no
Have you ever skinny dipped:Nope
Have you ever been on tv: no.
Have you ever kissed someone, and then regreted it? Yes
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? no
Have u ever cheated on someone? no
Have you ever kissed a stranger? No
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING: Right now?...
white shirt
black work pants
green work shirt
black work apron how ever u spell it
glasses
socks
watch
SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY:
woke up
got ready
went home
showerd
dryed my hair
worked
FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER:
Music
Degrassi
Kisses
Dinosaurs
robots
FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO:
Jessica
Erika
Leslie
Josh
THREE CHOICES
1.Black or White: black
2. Hot or Cold: cold
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Grow up
Be fully happy
ONE THING YOU REGRET:
theres only one thing.. but i prefer not to disclose it here

Ten things you do usually everyday:
1. Talk to josh
2. Have a shower
3. Wake up
4. Think about friends
5. check this for commonts
6. check my nex
7. Watch Tv
8. listen to music
9. brush my teeth
10. brush my hair
Nine things you dislike:
1. that i moved
2. my loneliness
3. that im always cold
4. being fuckedaround with
5. jessica simpson
6. alot of bands
7. being computer less
8. the dark
9. when im alone
Eight random things about you:
1. i have glasses
2. my feet are always cold
3. my eyes change color
4. im 5'3 not 5'4
5. headaches are a daily occurance for me
6. im obsessed with music and my hair
7. i work to hard for what im being paid
8. and i pay way to much for my hair
Seven things you like:
1. Music
2. Dinosaurs
3. Hearts
4. Broken Hearts
5. Words
6. mac makeup
7. friday nights
Six things you're afraid of:
1. the dark
2. rapists
3. death
4. balloons
5. elastics
6. the fact that people always make me use elastics..
Five things you never leave the house without:
1. CAMERA
2. Cell phone
3. mp3 player
4. makeup
5. Clothes
Four things you say too much:
1. perhaps
2. crack head
3. fuck
4. gay
Three things you want to accomplish:
1. graduating
2. getting my liscence
3. becomming successful..
Two things you don't want to do:
1. die
2. be lonely
One thing you miss at the moment:
1. friends.

AH!

2006-01-04T02:01:31Z

Today was sooooooooooooooo boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This no computer thing is going to kill me!!! I sat at home all day and did nothing, then i worked, work was killer i didtn think it was possible to not feel your fingers from just constantly grabbing stuff but it was possible. We were so busy cuz all the students are back and they need their food. My break was delayed half an hour!! I was starving man it was tough!! Thats okay the guy from bakery was there and hes cool, and because we were so busy it went super fast. Now im home and hungry and once again very bored. BUT I HAVE PLANS FOR TOMORROW!! FOR THE FIRST TIME ALL HOLIDAY!! YAY!!! Its really exciting me and Kirsten are going to hang out which is good because we havent hung out in forever! Then i have to go see my boyfriend at like 8 and um walk home i guess at like 12 scary stuff. And well thats all..

Over and Out.

Blah.

2006-01-03T14:53:49Z

So yesterday was interesting.. No really it was just boring and sad. I pretty much did nothing all day, i tried working on my 12 page essay but all i got done was the title page.. sad. Then i went out for dinner. Josh had to work at 8 and we planned to hang out after because i havent really hung out with him for a while, 2 days ya shut up. So i picked him up at work and we went for bubble tea, then i was supposed to go to his house after so we could hang out and stuff, but an unexpected problem came up so i couldnt come over and ended up going home at 9. sad. Where once again i sat on the computer and waited for josh to call me because i was scared. Finally he called and that was that.. Thrilling day i must say. Grug. Now its early in the morning and i just woke up and im grumpy because i have to work and i hate work, and i will do nothing all day again until i work. GRUG. This week sucks. Thats all.

Over and Out.

Kinda the same as the last one.

2006-01-02T03:23:00Z

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
Yep

2) What was your favorite moment/experience of the year?
Probably the weekend in august with Josh. Or the field trip to Nigara falls.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Febuary 17th.. The break up.

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
In seans basement

5) Who were you with?
Sean

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
I was at Joshs house

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
Josh

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
i dont think i had one

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
umm. get in shape.
annndd..focus on school?

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
yes

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
that i did

17) Who is your favorite new friend?
Kyle wait was that even his name?? Haha the gym stocker in edmonton is who im talking about..

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
August

19) Did you travel outside of the Canada in 2005?
have i ever? of course not.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
umm. not in a 'passing away' sort of way. But alot of my friends left me.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
oh to many

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
there was lots.
charlie and the chocolate factory, harry potter, sisterhood of the traveling pants, the island, and the list goes on

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
Lying is the most fun a girl can have.., Self conclusion, Staplegunned, Scars..

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?
The warped tour one

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
a couple..

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
Rise against

28) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
yes that i did

29) did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
nope.

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?
zero

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
yeah.. alot

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
haha nice. "not since last..." "yeah sure i will be there"

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
ya..

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
a lot a lot

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
Recieving my award for school.. Winning dance competitions.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
o dear..theres lots.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something what would it be?
nothing. it was all worth it in the end. i learned a lot about a lot of people

40) What are your plans for 2006?
do well in school, tell the truth, be happy.

I have decided....

2006-01-02T02:01:50Z

Okay so i have decided to start using this thing again. So much has happend, well so much happend last year!!!!!! I have also been sooooooo busy and nothing that exciting has happend this chrstimas break. Christmas was good i got a digital camera and alot of other amazing things. Then i bought a cell phone and i love it. New years eve was alright i searched all day for a party but no such luck, my mom even gave me alcohol. But nope so i went to Joshs imagine that.We watched degrassi season 2 cuz i own it, and then we called my super cool friend Leslie in edmonton because she was spending her new years eve alone she was ditched. I was not letting that happen, and then we just hung out all night. Till we went to sleep that is.. I really need friends who invite me places, ive kinda lost everyone because everyone found other people when i was in edmonton and now im just kinda not cool enough to hang out with them or something i dont no.Most people will say its cuz im with josh all the time but thats not it, i try and talk to my friends but they just kinda blow me off or there busy so in the end i hang out with him. Sad.. Oh well. enough of that.. Its finally 2006!! I hope this year is sooooooooooooo great! It should be gosh its like a couple more months and grade 11 will be over. ANDDDDDD I WILL BE ABLE TO DRIVE SOON! Thats super exciting!! Well thats all i have to say.

Over and Out.

2005

2005-12-31T02:27:51Z

best _____ of the year 05:
1. party: Eddies
2. show: Degrassi
3. cd: the warped tour 05
4. movie: Harry Potter
5. song: sugar were going down swinging
6. experience: getting a job
7. concert: rise against was that even in 05?
8. book: sisterhood of the traveling pants 1 2 and 3
9. month: August
10. day: October 21st

worst ____ of the year 05:
1. party: Mine...
2. show:i dunno they were all good n bad
3. cd: JLO’s cuz did ne one even know she released one this year.. and no I don’t have it
4. movie: The constant gardener
5. song: that one that goes “don’t you wish your girlfriend” etc etc.
6. experience: I dunno because I think all my bad experiences just make me stronger.
7. concert: didn’t see much this year
8. book: Frankenstein
9. month: I don’t know
10. Day: August 18^th I think that’s it

hopes for 2006:
1. predict something that you think will happen in 2006?: I’ll move once again
2. what do you hope changes about your country?: poverty decreases.
3. what do you hope for yourself?: I get a life, well more of a social life.
4. what do you hope for your family?: that things will get better for them.
5. what do you hope for your best friend?: -That she will have a great year in her new house. And that she will talk to me more. - That he will learn to deal with things better and understand things before getting upset, and that we will always be best friends.

during 2005:
1. where were you when 2005 began: Sean’s basement
2. did you stay up: sure did
3. what was your new year wish?: that my life would get better
4. how many boy/girlfriends?: 2
5. broke up?: yeah and no
6. have any crushes?: nope
7. care to mention names?: nope
8. new friends?: not really but some I guess
9. had to say goodbye?: yes
10. missed anyone?: tooo many.
11. win anything?: nope
12. best place you went to?: Edmonton, and that place with Josh
13. worst place you went to?: I don’t think there was a place
14. happiest moment?: Um.. Plane landing in Edmonton.
15. how was your birthday?: it was okay.
16. best present?: digital camera or the used poster